Healing Childhood Wounds with Author, Psychotherapist Dr. Don St John, Utah

On August 20th, 2024, Edge Talk Radio welcomed author and psychotherapist Dr. Don St. John from Utah for a powerful conversation about healing childhood wounds, trauma, the mind-body-spirit connection, personal and spiritual growth, and learning to move beyond the numbness that can develop when we spend years simply surviving.

Dr. St. John's understanding of trauma comes from both his professional work and his own life. Growing up in an abusive home, he entered adulthood physically tense, emotionally frozen, and disconnected from himself. His own healing journey eventually stretched across more than five decades and led him far beyond the traditional boundaries of psychotherapy.

Early in that journey, Dr. St. John realized that talking about trauma wasn't enough for him. He began exploring how trauma affects not only our thoughts and emotions but also the nervous system, muscles, connective tissues, relationships, and spirituality. This eventually shaped his approach to healing through four interconnected areas: the somatic or physical body, the psycho-emotional, the relational, and the spiritual.

One of the most moving stories he shared involved a painful turning point in his marriage. While attending a spiritual conference centered around living from the heart, his wife told him she wanted an open relationship and had already begun one. Dr. St. John described moving through intense rage, pain, and confusion before unexpectedly experiencing what he understood as an opening of his heart and a profound connection with Divine love. The pain didn't immediately disappear, but his relationship to it changed.

That experience became part of a much larger understanding: healing isn't about eliminating every difficult emotion or simply returning to "normal." Dr. St. John sees healing as an ongoing process of becoming more whole. Personal and spiritual growth can gradually expand our capacity to feel, connect, love, receive love, trust ourselves, and experience life more fully.

The conversation also explored the numbness that can develop after trauma or years spent in survival mode. Dr. St. John described his own return to feeling as a gradual process. Over time, practices involving the body, movement, psychotherapy, relationships, spirituality, and self-exploration helped him reconnect with sensations and emotions that had once felt inaccessible.

This led to an especially interesting discussion about what Dr. St. John called "functioning depression." Someone may get out of bed every morning, go to work, fulfill responsibilities, and appear completely functional while underneath experiencing loneliness, emptiness, numbness, or an absence of joy. For Dr. St. John, this is another reason personal and spiritual growth matter: functioning isn't necessarily the same thing as truly feeling alive.

Relationships and community are also an important part of healing. Dr. St. John emphasized that people aren't meant to move through trauma completely alone. Feeling supported can make an enormous difference, particularly because isolation itself can be one of the most difficult aspects of trauma. Healing ourselves also doesn't mean becoming self-centered. As we grow, we can become more capable of connection, compassion, intimacy, and love.

Another powerful part of the conversation centered on changing the story we carry about our past. Dr. St. John wasn't suggesting that children are responsible for the trauma inflicted upon them. Instead, he spoke about reaching a point where we recognize that although we cannot change what happened, we can begin making choices about how those experiences will shape the rest of our lives. Working through the pain, rage, fear, and trauma can allow us to move beyond seeing ourselves only through the lens of what happened to us.

Ultimately, Dr. St. John's message was one of possibility. His own life demonstrates that childhood trauma doesn't have to determine the entirety of someone's future. Healing may be gradual and deeply personal, but resources and support are available. His encouragement to listeners was to embark on the journey, remain open to what appears along the way, and trust the intuition and guidance that can help move us toward greater wholeness.

What I Learned From Dr. Don St. John

The connection between mind, body, spirit, and our physical health really stood out to me. Personal and spiritual growth can help dissipate the numbness that develops when we spend years living in survival mode. I was also struck by the reminder that many highly functioning people may still be experiencing depression, loneliness, or emptiness beneath the surface. Healing our trauma is an important part of moving beyond simply functioning and toward feeling, connecting, and fully experiencing life.

Learn More About Dr. Don St. John

Website: https://pathsofconnection.com

Book: Healing the Wounds of Childhood and Culture: An Adventure of a Lifetime